Behind Every Fear is Love

Behind every fear is love—a thing we value and a person we love. As a parent, I know behind every fear I have for or about my kids is a deep, abiding love for them and their well-being. 

As Jess Connolly says, fear isn’t the problem. Obeying fear is. Fear is the beginning of courage. Fear is where we get to be curious and choose courage over panic. 
 

Let’s skip the shame and get curious. 

In most circumstances, fear falls into three categories: fear of Failure, Rejection, and Inadequacy. This isn’t all-encompassing, but I see these pop up a lot, especially when starting something new, walking in your calling, or managing your current circumstance.

 

When I think of relationships or parenting, fear often shows up when trying to control what we can’t control. Will I fail as a parent? Will I be inadequate? Will my kids face rejection? And the answer is yes! 

When perfection is the expectation, we completely exclude God and his power. 1 Corinthians 12:9 goes out the window. 

I've been guilty of white-knuckling so much in life, with the false expectation that I could control way more than I could. The fruits are exhaustion and bitterness. I know I want my season of midlife to be marked with cynicism but a deep, abiding delight in my everyday life.

Fear or any emotion is an invitation. To be curious, to dig a  little deeper, to draw a little closer to the Holy Spirit, to surrender just a bit and see what is underneath these emotions. 

This is courage! 

There is tremendous pressure when we must be the hero of our circumstances and will ourselves unafraid. 

Now, to the good part: we can hold fear and ask ourselves some coaching questions below:

 

What are my fears? Which one feels the most significant? Is this a rational or irrational fear? Behind the fear, what is the thing or person you love or value? What will you do if this fear happens?

This is the beginning of curiosity. This is the beginning of courage.

Praying grace and courage are with you this week,

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